Loss of my beautiful Mum Sandra

I lost my Mum Sandra in October 2024. She passed 8 weeks after being diagnosed with metastatic oesophageal cancer. She was 58 at the time she passed and I was 26. She spent her last few weeks at home where I took care of her every hour of the day. She was then admitted into hospital and passed 5 days later. My mum was the most selfless, caring and amazing woman I have ever known and I was so blessed to call her Mum. I miss her so much, I miss her laugh, her voice, her smell and just having her there to talk to. When she passed I took some time off work and then returned but recently I’ve been signed back off of work due to my mental health and really struggling with my grief. I know I have accepted that she’s gone but I really struggle to accept that I will never see her again in this lifetime. She won’t be there when I get married, she won’t be able to be my birthing partner when I have my first child. I just want her back and there is no words to describe the constant heartache that I have. I’m homesick for a person. Sending love to anyone else who is also going through this awful feeling

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat KatL1998x, although I'm really sorry to hear you lost your mum to advanced oesophageal cancer two years ago.

    I can't begin to imagine how difficult life has been for you without having Sandra by your side but I want to assure you that you are not alone as so many of our members know just how difficult it is to cope with the grief that losing a beloved parent brings and the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with it, and I'm sure it won't be long until you receive some words of support and advice from our very empathetic community. 

    I'm not sure from your post if you have tried or looked in bereavement counselling or grief support before but if not, maybe now is the time. If you feel this is something that could help then don't hesitate to get in touch with your GP to find out more and reach out to bereavement charities such as Cruse Bereavement Care and Sue Ryder who both offer comfort and support to anyone who is struggling with their loss.

    As you've said, this is an awful feeling to contend with but our thoughts are with you KatL1998x and hopefully with the help and support of others you will find a way through this once more.

    Do keep posting if you find it helps, and remember that we'll always be here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator