Hi Zoelouise,

My sincere sympathy on the lose of your father. This must have come as a terrible shock so soon after his admission to hospital. It is possible that, even without the scan, his care team were aware that he was nearing the end of life, but didn't want to upset him or the family any further.

My father-in-law was one of the best and most capable men on this earth, even at 97. He nursed my bed-bound mother-in-law single-handedly for 6½ years, with vascular dementia and heart failure. They had married at 18 and were truly devoted to one another. He was absolutely devastated when she died, but shortly after that he started to complain about a sore back. We took him to the GP 5 times to be told that it was just arthritis, but we knew that it was more than this, because he never complained about his health. 

We saw a different GP on the fifth occasion, who referred him to hospital. Four days later, he attended as an out-patient, but was immediately admitted as an end stage cancer patient. The cancer was widespread and we were advised that he might have 2 months to live - in the event, he had only 6 days. To lose such a precious person from our lives was heart-breaking, especially only 6 days after getting a cancer diagnosis.

It is so hard to cope with the fact that you feel that his care in hospital could have been better. This happened with my mum, who had secondary breast cancer, which had spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs. Although disgusted with her care in both the hospital and the hospice, I had to let go of my feelings on this matter, before they ate me up inside. This was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this sad time.

Jolamine xx