Dealing with loss or mother in law.

Hi 

My mother in law has just passed after late diagnosis if bone cancer (spread from lung tumour throughout her body) 

I'm surprised at how difficult I'm finding it to accept. I knew I thought a lot of her but it's feeling a lot worse from other deaths in the family I've had to deal with before which on its own is making me feel guilty. 

She was a lovely person and saw the best in everyone. Unfortunately she wasn't lucky and had been married to an alcoholic who didn't treat her right 

I'm doing all I can to raise funds in her memory but it's the empty feeling that's so difficult to deal with. I've got other relatives and both of my parents are still alive but it's shocked me and just feels unfair considering what she had to contend with.

I take peace in the fact she can rest now but I just feel like why her which is crazy I know. 

She was only in her late 50's her partner even cancelled her critical illness cover when his drinking caused financial problems  so she got no payout...

How do people move forward from the feeling of anger and the feeling of terrible unfairness?

Just to add I used to work for cancer research as a volunteer then a shop manager. 

  • Hello Pt1234567 and welcome to Cancer Chat.

    I'm incredibly sorry to hear about the passing of your mother in law. She sounded like a wonderful woman and having lost her at quite a young age through a late cancer diagnosis must be very difficult.

    Coping with grief is extremely tough, especially with the rollercoaster of emotions it makes you feel, but remember that everything you are feeling is valid so do be kind to yourself at this time.

    Hopefully some of our members who have found a way to move forward from their feelings of anger and unfairness will stop by soon to share their experiences and advice but in the meantime, we're sending you all our strength and support.

    Thank you for everything you've done for CRUK Pt1234567, and I hope being a part of our community can provide you with the comfort and understanding you are seeking at this time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator