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Loss of wife - we were together for 38 years. Her birthday is coming up and then Christmas. She loved this time of year, it's going to be so tough

LakeStorm
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Hi 

in May my wife of 38 years was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and put on targeted drug and a course of chemo the 1s 2 went well even reducing the tumour but the 3rd sessions knocked her for six she spent the next 5 weeks in hospital before passing at the end of September the first few weeks the hospital where trying to sort out her bloods and immune system at this point she caught covid  the next 2 weeks they said there was an infection they where trying to control then all of a sudden they started asking about her wishes and palliative care my wife never made it home it all felt like a tornado everything seemed to happen so quickly i have so many regrets about not having time to talk to her properly im not a very talkative person i was with her every day but she had difficulty breathing and talking in the last week i feel i should have done more today is the 2nd month anniversary i have her birthday coming up in 12 days and then Christmas i know its going to be a tough time but i will be with the grand children and family im just not sure how to get thru it my wife loved decorating the house for Christmas i cant face putting up the tree but know i have to 

  • Hello Lakestorm

    I'm so very sorry to hear about the recent loss of your beloved wife. Undoubtedly after 38 years together there has been a big gap left in your life and it's understandable that you're dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment. It's only been a short time since she passed away and now with her birthday and Christmas approaching it's naturally going to be a tough time. I'm glad to hear that you have your grandchildren and family around for support. 

    Grief is a natural process but it can be overwhelming. There may be times when it feels like you don't know how you will get through it. In those moments do reach out for support. Whether it's to family, friends, the community here at Cancer Chat or even a bereavement support charity such as Cruse. There is always someone who will be able to listen. When it's tough take things a day at a time and don't look too far ahead. If a day seems like too much then just go hour by hour. 

    Keep posting here on the forum if it helps to have a safe space to pur down in writing how you're feeling Lakestorm. We're here for you. 

    Sending you our best wishes at this difficult time, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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