Hi 

in May my wife of 38 years was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and put on targeted drug and a course of chemo the 1s 2 went well even reducing the tumour but the 3rd sessions knocked her for six she spent the next 5 weeks in hospital before passing at the end of September the first few weeks the hospital where trying to sort out her bloods and immune system at this point she caught covid  the next 2 weeks they said there was an infection they where trying to control then all of a sudden they started asking about her wishes and palliative care my wife never made it home it all felt like a tornado everything seemed to happen so quickly i have so many regrets about not having time to talk to her properly im not a very talkative person i was with her every day but she had difficulty breathing and talking in the last week i feel i should have done more today is the 2nd month anniversary i have her birthday coming up in 12 days and then Christmas i know its going to be a tough time but i will be with the grand children and family im just not sure how to get thru it my wife loved decorating the house for Christmas i cant face putting up the tree but know i have to