Living with loss.

Hi im Brian and im 36 years old.

I lost my beautiful wonderful mum 9th july 2025 and living with the grief is unbearable. 

My mother had bowel cancer in 2016. She then was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 years ago. After a lot of appointment and treatment we finally thought things were going to be okay. But in March 2025 she developed a tumor behind her eye which caused her eye to basically sie off. Even with this news we were still hopeful. 2 month later my mum was diagnosed with a fractured spine due to cancer spreading and was told that there was nothing they could do. We cared for her as best we could along with the brilliant Strathcarron nurses at home until she passed.

I have lost so many members of my family and friends to cancer. My father had cancer 2011 and survived but losing my mum... its a grief that seems like an ever widening black hole.

  • Hi Brian, 

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your love Mum :( I wanted to reply to this to let you know that you're not alone. I'm 35 years old and lost my beautiful Mum to metastatic breast cancer June 21st this year. Today marks 4 months without her and I feel like you, it's just so unbearable :( She was my best friend and the closest person to me and the hole in my heart is huge! 

    Sadly I have no advice as I'm muddling through myself but what I would say is be kind to yourself. There's no right or wrong way to grieve. Sending love and strength. 

  • I appreciate your reply snd your openness. And im truly sorry for your loss. 

    Its okay you dont have advice. Talking to people who are living this experience is good enough. 

    Its like that line from afterlife,' I remember what it was like to be normal so I pretend to be that.' But it gets so hard. There's so many triggers and occasions and missed time and yeah. I can't see a time where ill ever not feel this empty and hollow.