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It feels wrong to celebrate my birthday when my dad is no longer here to celebrate it with me. Do other people feel like this?

Becky1936
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My dad died from blood cancer that changed and became extremely aggressive extremely quickly just over 7 months ago. Today is my birthday and I don't want it to be. This morning I cried because it feels wrong to celebrate my birthday when my dad is no longer here to celebrate it with me.

Myself, my husband and my mum visited my dad's woodland burial site today, it was how I wanted to spend today. A beautiful grasshopper sat on top of his headstone the whole time we were there. It might sound silly, but it felt like he sent it, like he was wishing me a happy birthday,  telling me he was still here. It did give me some comfort, but I will be glad when today is over. Do other people feel like this? 

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    Hi Becky,

    I am so sorry to hear that you lost your dad 7 months ago and I just wanted to let you know that how you are feeling today is perfectly normal. All of the anniversaries and celebrations are especially difficult to cope with within the first year after losing someone. With the passage of time we learn to live with our loss and it gets a little easier to cope.

    Just remember that your dad is always with you. You'll carry him with you in your heart for the rest of your days. I love the thought of that  beautiful grasshopper sitting on his headstone and feel sure that this was your dad's way of wishing you a happy birthday. I'm glad that it gave you some comfort and it sounds as if you couldn't have celebrated in a better way.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thank you so much for your kind words and reassurance. Grief has a horrible way of hitting you in waves, sometimes when you least expect it doesn't it. xxxx️

  • Offline in reply to Becky1936

    Hi Becky,

    There is no time frame for grief - it takes as long as it takes. We all deal with it in our own way and yes, it does hit us in waves, which at times can become overwhelming.

    Thinking of you and your family.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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