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Feeling dreadful after a loss

RoxyorKatie
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  • It’s a year since my husband died & also my sister.
  • my husband died after almost 10 years of blood cancer our Relationship became non existent, he wouldn’t even discuss how we were! At first the diagnosis was not that bad !   He was autistic & ADHD so sometimes I just didn’t know who he was anymore!   We never talked about what was happening, he’d always been troubled by his health and having this new problem made it worse!   I was just trying to explain that I needed help to & he didn’t think I did, now I feel angry at him for making me feel like I was used in this way!
  • it’s really hard as it’s affecting my diabetes.. I still feel scared about how I feel about it all I felt frustrated but just got on with it!
  • loosing my sister didn’t help… she died after pancreatic cancer , in 6 weeks she was gone! I always talked to her!
  • it’s affecting me mentally & physically, going to a hospital appointment myself I broke down!  I know I nee£ help, but feel my family aren’t helping!   Some friends are great. I’m trying very hard to look after myself!  Going out with my dog twice a day, I’m struggling!  Will this angry feeling ever stop!

  • Hello RoxyorKatie,

    I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your husband and sister and how this is affecting you. It's ok and perfectly natural to look back and feel all sorts of emotions, but it's important to allow yourself the space to grieve and do lean on people close to you when you're struggling. If you feel your family isn't supportive, you should still let them know how you feel and keeping communication may bring positive results.  There's no right way or definite end to grieving loved ones, but I hope my colleague's suggestions of bereavement resources from Cruse and Sue Ryder will be helpful to you. Cruse also has a free and non-judgemental emotional support helpline on 0808 808 1677, if you'd like to speak to someone. Also, your GP should be made aware of how this is affecting your diabetes, if they're not already, as they may be able to suggest something.

    It's nice to hear that you go out with your dog and I hope small things like this can help you to process and recharge after what has been a difficult time for you.

    All the best and let us know how you're getting on,  

    Moderator Anastasia

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