Hello Daisy

I'm so very sorry to hear that you lost your partner to cancer at the age of 40. Undoubtedly, it will have been an incredibly difficult time for you, and it's understandable that you have lots of unanswered questions. 

Sometimes it's not always possible to answer some questions but if you have specific questions about his care or treatment, then I'd suggest getting in touch with the PALS team at the hospital responsible for his care in the first instance. They may be able to arrange for you to talk with someone who can try to help answer some of those questions. If you'd like to talk things through with one of our nurses, you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice and support they can. 

Grief is a natural process, but it can be overwhelming and often leaves us with questions about how to understand what has happened and how we can begin to move forward through the grief to find a new sense of normality. I know many people have shared here on the forum how counselling has helped them to do this. If that's something you might like to consider, then you could contact charities such as Maggie's or Cruse, which can offer a range of bereavement support services. 

We have some information about coping with grief available on our website Daisy. I hope that you have support from family and friends around you. Keep posting here in the Cancer Chat community if it helps to have a safe space to put down in writing how you're feeling; we're here for you. 

On behalf of the Cancer Chat team, please accept our condolences and best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator