I’m 21 and my grandad is dying. He is almost 90- he had cancer a few years ago and now has a stoma bag- was given the all clear but unfortunately it came back and was incurable. He’s done a lot of radiotherapy and chemotherapy but unfortunately it’s just spread and spread so it has been stopped now, and his life seems to be coming to an end quite soon.
I do not live at home anymore as I stayed in my uni city and work full time up here. I went back home last weekend and visited my grandparents, and I was shocked at how weak he now looks. He’s still eating and has an appetite which is great, but he is so very tired. He said he can’t shake the tiredness now. His eye was also twitching and moving strangely- he has double vision and now cannot drive and is complaining of headaches, which has made me and my family think it may have now spread to his brain.
I gave him the biggest hug in the world when it was time to leave and just sobbed when Ieft and all the way on my train ride home I just felt sad because I feel like it’s the last hug I will ever give him. I’ve been ill with my own health so cannot go back this weekend due to hospital appointments, and I even went to a&e this week due to stress leading to chest pain. Whilst this is mostly because of my health issues it was also because of this situation.
Next weekend me, my parents, siblings and my boyfriend are on a family holiday. I feel sad to go and I feel like my time with him is running out. I can’t stop thinking about that hug. I just love him so much. My dad said he got upset when he asked my dad to look after my nan, because he doesn’t want her to be alone. They’ve been married for almost 70 years.
I feel like people downplay the loss of a grandparent. My boyfriend lost his mum to cancer and he’s always comforted me throughout this and never made me feel bad, but I feel like maybe I am expected by others to just get over it because he is old and sick. But my grandad has always just been old to me. Never sick. He was very fit and healthy up until this. Even through treatment he still kept active.
I have lost my other grandad to cancer when I was younger, and I still grieve him. But we did not know he had cancer and he died very unexpectedly and quickly. We only found out after. I am still grieving him and now my other grandad. I feel like I should be home more, but I cannot take time off work as due to my health I’ve already taken too much time off and it’s a role I’ve only been in for a couple months. I’m just so sad. I just want to be with him.
