My partner has just passed away from cancer yesterday, which started in his colon and spread to his liver, and I feel so lost. I start to wonder if more could have been done. I had started to try and get a 2nd opinion at the hospital in Manchester after his first line of chemo didn't work. He wasn't eating properly for the last few weeks and I felt guilty as I thought he was just giving up but was told by the hospital that it could have been a blockage in his liver. He had been admitted into hospital and discharged even though he was jaundiced. His blood results were back to where they needed to be and he had been given antibiotics to try and clear up the infection as well as steroids. Whilst out of hospital for the week, his family came down from Scotland to visit. However, he deteriorated and needed to be readmitted a week later. I start questioning whether I should have fought for him to stay in hospital and I wonder if he would have been strong enough to have a stent in his liver, which hadn't been offered whilst he was in hospital during the first week. However, without the scans to show whether it was a blockage or just the liver mets getting bigger and spreading, I will never know whether the stent would have been a viable option. He was only 53 and he has been my soulmate for nearly 20 years and we have one son together who has just had his 16th birthday, so GCSEs are also looming. My son is very calming and mature but I do worry for him.
