I start by apologising for the length of this post.

My lovely husband passed away at the beginning of January,  he has two adult daughters that never fully accepted me. That's fine I realised that they wanted their parents to get back together.  This was never going to happen, as the ex-wife was having an affair and she was discovered in bed with her lover. The marriage split up 13 years ago, we got together 6 years ago and married in 2022, once the children were all adults and maintenance payments had stopped.

Unfortunately the girls never wanted to be fully part of our new family and would always put obstacles in anything we tried to plan with our new family which now included my daughter and granddaughter. 

We suffered many episodes of the girls phoning/visiting, being here, shouting and swearing at their dad, over the most trivial things. I never said anything,  my husband would try to placate them and would end up backing down to them. 

He passed away not leaving a will, he said the girls have partners, their own houses and the rest of their lives to make a good life.  He was very generous with the ex wife maintenance and also gave extra treats/money etc to the girls.

When he passed away I notified the tell us once service and also the bank that has a similar service.  He didn't have a lot of money, unfortunately he used an old joint account that had his ex wife name on it though she didn't know this account was still active.  When he passed away she got hold of his old bank statements and found put there was a life policy which he paid into. 

This is where the problem starts, I knew of this policy but I pretended I didn't when the girls asked me.  It had already been paid into my account, I didn't want to upset them as their dad had already told me about it and i knew this could potentially cause a problem. Well it has caused a big problem now,  the ex wife has been in touch  accusing me of lying. The girls now want to come round and go through his trinkets ( he was not a man who, what he would call keep clutter) apart from his clothes  and photos which they are welcome to have, they each want a third of his ashes! This seems so disrespectful,  I feel that my husband will not be complete when we scatter them. I can understand they want something and I have told them that I will keep some for them after the ashes are scattered( I panicked and said I will do it next week) but I don't know if I am ready for that yet. 

I have spoken to my husbands sisters,  who feel that the girls and ex wife are trying to bully me to do exactly what they want.

After speaking to my sister in laws, I sent a message to the girls to say, that I was so upset with their messages to me that I feel it best not to see them, so I will get bits together (photos, all their fathers day gifts over the years that they want back plus some of the ashes etc) and they can pick them up from their auntie. 

I received the most awful message from their mother,  accusing me of lying, vilianfying her daughters,  turning their family against them. Saying I didn't know my husband at all, and I am not grieving to the extent her daughters are,  as we have only been together for the past six years! She said what a manipulative woman I am, trying to play the victim and my husband would hate how I am treating them.

I am devastated,  I haven't replied,  I blocked all their numbers, my husband always tried to look after me when they girls were around,  especially after the youngest one tried to attack me after she had argued with her dad, shortly after we got married. 

I just want quiet and calm at the moment, I hate how anxious on top of everything else I feel at the moment.  This has knocked me for six.  Can anyone help with any advice on what I should do please!