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My dad is dying and i wont get more time.

caffeineandcrying
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My dad is dying after discovering he developed secondary cancer last year. This was after a stint in 2021 with oesophagus cancer. He developed a brain tumour which has now stolen so much of his ability away and there is more on his spine.  I'm scared for what my life will look like for everyone without my dad.

I'm often sat wondering about what he will miss out in my life, like when i get married or even have my own kids. My dad is my best friend and i'm not ready to lose him in my 20s. It all feels really unfair and that the time I've had with him isn't enough. Therapy has helped me manage so far but i feel in my gut that time is running out. 

i guess i just needed to say it, somewhere that my friends or  family aren't going to try and say it will be okay or to enjoy the time. how can we when my dad isn't himself that much anymore and they have healthy happy families who haven't experienced this? 

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat, caffeineandcrying, though I’m sorry to hear about the reason that brings you here.
    It’s understandable that you’re struggling with the idea of a future without your dad, especially when he’s been such an important part of your life. It sounds like therapy has been helpful, but it can still feel isolating when others can’t fully understand what you’re going through.
    If you're finding it difficult to cope with the reality of your dad’s illness and what’s ahead, there’s some information on our website that may help. One page, Resources and support when someone is dying lists various organisations and support groups that can assist you as you cope with a loved one’s illness. There's also a section called Dying with cancer which focuses on the final months or weeks of life. Please note that some of the information can be upsetting and difficult to read. You might prefer to skip it for now and return to it later, or if you do choose to read on, it may be helpful to have someone close by for support.
    If you ever need support or just someone to talk to, please know that you’re not alone. Our team of nurses is here and available on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
    Wishing you strength as you continue navigating these challenging times,
    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

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