Hi all,

I’m new here, after finding the chat last week I have decided reaching out could be helpful.

My lovely mum, 59, saw her doctor 7th Jan for swollen feet, no appetite, weight loss and they suspected a blockage in her abdomen. I took her for urgent bloods ahead of a possible gastroscopy the afternoon of 8th Jan and by 6:30 that evening she had started to become quite confused. She was admitted to hospital 9th Jan due to her confusion and blood results being “all over the place”.

She sadly passed away Sunday 8th Feb from small cell cancer in her lungs, metastasis on her liver and possibly on her brain (they were not able to confirm this as unable to complete a successful MRI due to her confusion).

Myself snd my brother were with her when she passed and I had seen her everyday whilst she was in hospital, some days twice and some days for hours at a time. My last conversation with her was last Wednesday, the day we met with the oncologist to confirm the type of cancer she had, where it originated from and that her liver was failing. She was asleep from Thursday until she passed.

I am trying to support my dad, brothers and my teenagers as much as possible as we are a close family and my mum was everything to us all.

I feel a huge physical loss, I wasn’t sleeping well whilst she was in hospital, but now that she is gone I can’t get to sleep for hours at night. I close my eyes and can see her and just want to remember all the good times we had.

I feel like I need to get into a routine, but also do not have the energy for anything. 

How have people coped following the loss of such a loved one. I was hoping funeral arrangements would keep me busy for a while but we are still awaiting the certificate so we can’t get the official ball rolling until that is registered.

Any advice, suggestions or guidance would be grateful received.