Hello Diane

First thing id say is dont put any pressure on yourself. Youre not obliged to do anything other than feel what you are feeling, and there is also no timescale to how you feel now or are going to feel. Its also not about coping, its about grieving and allowing yourself time to grieve. Im not a person that believes in "moving on" or "pulling yourself together". If you want to cry, cry. If you want to scream, scream. Id say wear his favourite jumper, listen to music that meant something to you both. Its important to relive the moments that brought you together. There will come a time when you feel ready to move beyond the rawest part of your grief, but that grief will never end, life will simply grow and evolve around it, but the grief will always be there. This is still very recent for you. For me, its been 16 months and I feel im only now ready to begin fully grieving. Its all been too surreal to take in and understand the finality of it and start letting the pain all the way out. It truly is completely different for everyone. Society seems to think you have to get over things, and the pressure around you is generally centred on the notion of moving on, and doing it quickly. Its a nonesense. Hold your grief. Let it out, when you can, and when you cry, or scream, make sure you do it good and heard. Remember what made him, and your time together so special, and dont ever let anyone tell you you have to get over it. Yes, life does go on of course it does, but love does too. Just because your partner is gone the love is still there and never dissipates, and it doesnt have to either. Best id say is be kind to yourself and to have patience. Theres no rush to "cope"