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My father nursed his dying mam - how do I support the carer after someone has died?

Daisimone
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We found out my nana had cancer in April and since then my dad hasn’t really focused on any one but her. He has been amazing. He even stayed at her house and shouldered the majority of the care for her the last 5 weeks of her life. He was her hero. But now in the wake of her death, he just seems to be so fragile losing it over such small things and I feel like I don’t know how to help him. Its early days so the trauma of nursing her is creeping up on him, on all of us really… especially after the adrenaline has worn off. At the moment none of it feels real and we are currently in limbo waiting for the funeral. Anyone else think the time between when they die and funeral is the worst? Any advice on how to care for someone who cared for the one who died ? 

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat, Daisimone.
    I’m sorry to hear about your nana’s passing, and I can only imagine how challenging this time must be for you and your family.
     It’s clear that your father was an incredible source of support for her, and it’s understandable that he is now feeling fragile as he processes everything.
    You’re not alone in feeling unsure of how to support someone who has cared for a loved one through such a difficult journey. The period after a death can be difficult, especially with the emotional weight of caregiving and the transition from the urgency of that role to the reality of loss.
    Many people here can relate to your experience, and I’m sure you’ll find comfort and guidance through their shared stories and advice.
    In addition, I would recommend taking a look at this resource from our website, which offers helpful advice on supporting caregivers after the death of a loved one: Supporting family, friends, and caregivers. It may provide some useful tips and perspectives as you support your father during this challenging time.
    I hope this helps a little and please remember we’re here for you.
    All the best,
    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

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