Two massive losses 6 days apart

My dad was given palliative care at the hospice and died 4 days ago. We sat with him as a family and held his hands the whole time and when he took his last breath.  I'm really struggling that he's not here anymore.  He didn't know he was dying, and wasn't aware of being in the hospice. I wouldn't let anyone speak negative when he was a round and I told him he would be back on his feet and well soon. 

6 days before losing my dad, I lost my bestfriend to cancer. She was diagnosed in August and died on 10th November.  I also helped to care for her and visited everyday.

I'm so lost and I keep going into hysterics when I start crying.  I don't know how im going to manage 2 funerals 

  • Hello Fiona3511

    I'm so very sorry to hear that you've recently lost both your Dad and best friend. To have lost two loved ones within such a short space of time is incredibly unfair and difficult and it's understandable that you may be feeling overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions at the moment. 

    Grief is a natural process but it can be devastating. I'm glad that you've recognised that you may need some support over the coming days, weeks and months and that you've reached out for help. 

    Hopefully, you'll be able to connect with other members who have lost loved ones and can share their experiences with you soon. I'd also suggest having a look at the Sue Ryder website. You might also want to consider the bereavement charity, Cruse, who offer a number of different types of bereavement support. 

    I hope that you have friends and family around you that you can lean on during this difficult time. Try to take things a day at a time Fiona3511 as looking too far ahead can leave you feeling overwhelmed and anxious. If a day feels too much then just take things hour by hour and reach out to those around you for help. 

    If you want to talk with one of our nurses at any point you're welcome to call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any support and advice they can. 

    Keep in touch with us here in the Cancer Chat community if it helps to have a safe space to put down inwriting how you're feeling. We're here for you. 

    Sending my best wishes at this difficult time, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator