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Dad is dating a year after losing mum

Clarelouise
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My dear wonderful mum died of cancer after a few months of  horrendous suffering and pain. My dad was also severely ill in the final 2 months and I gave up my job and house to look after them 24/7 . The funeral was a week ago last year and I am still in so much pain grieving over her leaving us so suddenly and in such awful circumstances. 

She was the sweetest, kindest most.lpvong and gently person I have ever known and she did everything for my dad. They were together over 50 years.

My dad has found it very tough and rejected all of us for months afterwards so we felt like we had lost him too,  but has slowly been able to cope better this summer. He still cries everyday as do I.

I am staying with him at the moment  for a week  to help him keep on top of the house and garden  and today he said he had a guest coming and didn't offer any more info. 

I stayed out of the way but heard them say goodbye and it turns out they have been talking for a while  and this was their first meet up. She was very enthusiastic about meeting up again. 

I am just in pieces at the moment. I can't speak to my dad I feel so much anger and that he is betraying mum. I know he needs company and it's good for him but I can't cope with it this soon after.  I haven't let on how I feel. 

Has anyone else been through this? 

Thanks

  • Hello Clarelouise,

    I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling and can imagine learning that your dad is meeting someone else would be difficult. It's important to acknowledge that the loss of your mum will no doubt have affected the whole family and in different ways, so it's important to talk about this with your dad in order for you both to understand each other's perspective.

    As you say, this friendship is probably good for him, but this doesn't mean it will replace his 50-year relationship with your mum. Be kind to yourself and to your dad, as there's no right way grieve for a loved one. I hope that in time you can move forward together. 

    Best wishes,

    Moderator Anastasia

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