ive lost my aunt so suddenly

hi my names theo and im 15. i recently lost my aunt two weeks ago but i am struggling to come to terms with it. she was sent home from the hospital twice and they told her she “just had a cough” but she went back in again a third time two weeks later and she was diagnosed with breast cancer that had spread to the spine, liver lungs and all vital body parts. we were told they had an injection that could contain the cancer and allow her another 10-12 years of life and she was so brave and confident for all of us. not even 4 days since her diagnosis and we were told that night she had gone into failure and has about 2-4 days. she passed that same night at 4.20 in the morning and i remember being awake that whole night. i feel so so destroyed and I don’t understand how they sent her home with just a cough despite doing blood tests and ct scans everything… it makes me so annoyed to think how avoidable it could have been. i am struggling to understand that she’s gone. it feels like she’s just gone on a holiday. she was my number one supporter. she just finished a 6 year battle with kidney failure and had consistent weekly blood tests ever since her transplant last year. how did they not notice cancer!!? i am so scared to go into this big world without her and I don’t know how to keep being strong and be myself without the one and only woman in my life that was always proud of me for doing so. i have been so strong for my familys sake but i am really struggling now. she’s never ever going to meet my children and i have this whole stupid life ahead of me that i have to live without her when I don’t want to. i can’t understand it…I wish all the men and women boys and girls reading this post who know knew or are facing cancer themselves that I wish you nothing but strength and sending much love to all of you. 

  • Hi Theo,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your aunt - I am sure this must be incredibly difficult and a lot to deal with right now.

    No doubt it will take some time to process, and it's possible you'll experience a range of different emotions during this time. Try to let these play out, taking things a day at a time, and slowly things will start to become more manageable.

    In time you will hopefully feel more able to continue to be strong and be yourself for your aunt, for all those around you, and also for yourself.

    I hope you have others around you who you can speak with for support - keep talking as it often helps. Hopefully this forum can also be of some support to you, even if it's just to write things down.

    There are various organisations who can provide support as well, if ever you feel you need it. These include Winston's Wish and Grief Encounter. It would be worth looking at these if ever you feel you're struggling.

    Do take care of yourself - wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator