My amazing mum has sadly passed away recently this march from breast cancer that has spread to her liver, she’s had it for years now and went through surgery and every medication available from the nhs to even private doctors across the country. 

in January she called me to tell me that sadly there’s nothing more anyone can do to help her and that she’s dying…

from that point I was crying quite often as I’m a student in a different city with a schedule that doesn’t let me visit home that often, cried for two days straight after she passed away, basically wailing the house down. But even a before her funeral I was “fine” except for maybe a day or two where I’d cry looking back at memories and photos.

now it feels like I can go about my day just fine where as my grandma is crying every day and night, can’t even go and visit my stepdad at our house without breaking down. Sometimes maybe I feel like I’ve already grieved so much before she died that now I’m at that stage where I don’t need to in a way? Not rlly sure how to explain it. Idk but I just feel like I should be bed ridden with grief from the death that’s left me an orphan. I do miss my mummy so so much :(