Hello Mummy17.   First of all, may I offer my condolences on the loss of your Father.  To be perfectly frank, it sounds as if you are doing everything you possibly can to hold things together, and I really don't see how your Mum or your sister can expect more of you.  I took care of my Mum when she had terminal cancer, and as I was the one still living at home, I accepted that most of my Mum's care would be on my shoulders.  I think that your sister needs to understand that she has less responsibilities than you do, and that she lives nearer to your Mum than you do, and that being the case, she is the one that can help your Mum more than you can.  I think that your sister is trying to put you on a 'guilt trip' in making you feel that you are not doing enough for your Mum, and again, I am going to be perfectly frank, this is extremely selfish of your sister to do this.  I think that you need to explain to your Mum and your sister that you are juggling so much at the moment, that IF you were to spend more time with your Mum, it means that other areas of your life would be neglected, such as your job, but more importantly, your Son.  If you lost your job would your sister pay your bills for you?  Would she step in and take your Son to his after school activities if you gave more time to your Mum?  I understand that you are all going through a terrible time at the moment.  You and your sister are grieving the loss of your lovely Dad and your Mum has lost her wonderful husband, but, at the end of the day, you can only do so much.  Your Son MUST be your priority, and his life needs to be kept as normal as possible, because don't forget, he is also grieving the loss of his Grandfather.  When we are being stretched to the absolute limit, we have to make tough decisions:  We have to decide WHO and WHAT needs our attention the most, and from a Mother's perspective, it must ALWAYS be your child.  You sound like a brilliant Mum and it seems that this is exactly what you are doing........you are placing the needs of your Son above everything else, and you have NOTHING to feel guilty about.  If your Mum and your sister can't (or won't) understand this, then that's just too bad.