One of my best friends has had cancer since his early 20s (he is now 28) and that dreaded time has come. We knew this day would come but it all seems to have happened so quickly. In a matter of weeks his treatment has stopped working, the cancer has spread rapidly and aggressively, and now there are no other options. He is in hospital in lieu of a hospice, just waiting. I have been to visit to say my goodbyes and I can't get the image of him out of my head. He is so much more than his cancer but I don't want those last moments of him to be all I remember. I feel so angry that this is how it is ending. He has his whole life ahead of him and it's being stolen from him. He won't get to finish his PhD, buy his first house with his girlfriend, get married, we won't get to go on our long awaited planned trips, we won't go to the pub and do the quiz anymore. Just day to day life feels so hard and I feel like I'm grieving him twice. Every day I'm waiting for that phone call and every time my phone buzzes I'm filled with anxiety. I don't know how to go about life without him in it and I don't know how I'll ever move past the anger that this awful disease has manifested in me.