My heart goes out to you Steph. I lost my Dad on the 10th april from liver cancer. I am 34 with two daughters who were the centre of his world… he was diagnosed in 2020 and had multiple treatments and even a transplant 2 years ago but the cancer returned last summer and although he was trying to prepare me with small hints I chose to always believe he would be ok and his attitude was so positive. We were told in March it was no longer manageable and he moved to palliative care and passed just 2 weeks later… I am just bereft. Nothing prepares you for the pain of loosing a parent especially such a parent as him and from the sounds of it you were also incredibly close to your mum. I wish I could offer you something other than empathy, but I can understand how you are feeling. We laid dad to rest on Friday and i promised myself from today I would try to get back into a routine, even if that’s just getting my girls to school on time and painting on a smile at bedtime to read stories… but I spend a lot of my time just walking my dog or sleeping to forget the feeling. Everyone wants to help but no one can take away the devastation so my advice is baby steps. Lots of love to you. 

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad it’s absolutely devastating losing a parent. It sounds similar to my mums situation as she also found out on the Wednesday it wasn’t manageable anymore and started palliative care and passed away a week later. Yes I’m also spending a lot of time walking it in my dads where I feel close to her. Thanks so much for replying to me & I hope you can get back into your routine with little baby steps. I’m also going to try this. Take care xxx

You’ve got this, you’ll be to your boys what your mum will always be to you. That’s what I am trying to tell myself about Dad, be the parent he was and always will be to me. But also it’s all just really rubbish and devastating and I will say this, don’t feel rushed into anything you aren’t ready for! Even if that’s lunch with friends or a phone call you aren’t ready to have yet… remember those baby steps. Take care Steph and thank you for replying in turn to me xxx