Help - struggling with the death of my sister

Hello my sister died of breast cancer that had spread everywhere and I was with her when she died but I am stuck in 2014 and I can't stop blaming myself I need help

  • Hello Tinajean, 

    I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a sister must be so so hard and even if it happened 10 years ago now, it was such a traumatic experience for you that it will have left a vivid mark especially as you were with her when she died and these are images that will stay with you forever. There is absolutely no reason to blame yourself - but this is a feeling so many people experience with grief as you can see in our website section on coping with grief. You will also read that grief is a very personal thing and we all grieve differently and it can last for months or years but given how you have been feeling for so long, it would be a good idea if you haven't done so already to seek a little bit of help by talking to your GP who will I am sure be able to give you some helpful advice or suggestions such as grief counselling. There is help available and I hope that you can talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. Have a look also at the NHS page on getting help after bereavement or loss which may be useful to you. Don't hesitate to get in touch too with Cruse Bereavement Support who are there to offer you support whenever you need it and they have a helpline too you can call. 

    Our forum members are also here to listen - many will have also experienced a similar traumatic loss and I hope that they will be along to share their stories with you and give you some tips to help you feel a little better.

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator