I am so sorry for your loss. Do you have any family who can support you? You should try and have people around you. Everything is understandably raw and hard. I am here if you want to just vent ok. Sending you huge hugs x JCPH

Hello hope you're well and feeling better since your post. I'm not really much help but just wanted to say that I know what you mean about not seeing it hearing from them again. I lost someone in January and I feel like I thought I was doing okay. It felt as though my mind tried to tell me it was just a temporary thing. Then I get a big horrible feeling in my stomach when I remember I won't ever hear her voice or hear her winding me up and making a fool of me . 

It just hits harder when the person you've lost is the very person that would be helping us through the loss. 

I hope you arnt too long in waiting for the counseling as I've heard it really helps. Take care x 

Hello MrsMcC

Im so very sorry to hear of the sad loss of your much loved husband.  My heart goes out to you.  Im so glad you have a supportive loving family and have been able to stay with them.  Its such eary days for you and all so raw.

I lost my husband nearly 8 years ago.  He was my everything, husband, best friend, soul mate.  Still is, will always be.  Like you we were never apart, we did everything together.  I too was so lucky that out daughter, who had our first grandchild six months before my husband died, has always been such a support to me.  They have kept me going.  I can feel your pain during the long lonely nights.

I was lucky that I also have some really special friends who were always at the end of the phone at any time.  One of my friends lived over the road from me and came round every evening.  for sometime.

Do you have friends to help support you too.  I had counselling with Cruse which helped and also from our local hospice, who supported my husband and us, his family.  Do you have a hospice you could talk to.   This forum has been such a support to.  I found it really helped  and someone is always here to help and listen.  It was helpful to me during those early days and nights that I could try and express how I was feeling.   I still get support now.

Its so hard, all those hospitals appointments, all your time and energies in supporting your loved husband it all stops, I understand that, and that they are gone its so very hard.  The price we pay for love.  Its all such a shock.

I just tell myself that no one can take my memories.  i talk to my husband all the time and take him with me in my heart wherever I go and what ever I do.

Over these last nearly 8 years I would say it doesnt get better BUT you do find ways of coping.  when I have a sad day, I go with that, irs okay.  I also keep busy with my daughter and now two grandsons and my friends.  i volunteer in school and also volunteered in a charity shop.  

I think the most important thing is to reach out, which you have done, thats not always easy to do.  I wish you werent having to go through this, dont be hard on yourself, its such early days for you.  Im not good in expressing how I have coped.  Look afer yourself.  Im sending you huge hugs and lots of love.  Take care xx