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Dad moved on after mum has passed

Ch12365
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My beautiful mum passed away from cancer 23rd Dec 23 only 2 months of being diagnosed 

In February this year my dad told me he had moved on with a new girl friend but has been absolutely rotten about it. I said that's okay whatever you do in your private life is up to you.

 He first off took my daughter age 5 out with her first day he told me then next min puts photos of her with my daughter on Facebook then I found her Facebook and she took photos of my children and put them all over it I felt so sick my children have just lost there nanny how could he do this. I asked if these could be removed as this is far to soon 

Then he kept pressing on me to get to no this new girl friend I said politely I'm not ready please stop asking me then he brings her to my house when I had a car fault and then she said she feels uncomfortable round me??? But I'm sorry I'm not open arms I just can't be. 

Next of all they would finish then next day back together this has effected me so badly. My brother who has autism currently lives at home and one night he was in bed grieving mum and could hear them laughing n giggling in bed together my heart broke for him. My brother said he doesn't want to get to no her yet either but he brings her home n expects him to have a conversation with her. But fast forward present day he took all mums belongings threw them in my house and said I sort it even no I'm not ready then it gets worse he decides Friday he wants to sell the house as it holds way to many memories even no he moved on with this woman when my mum was dieing in hospice!!!! Then he throws my brother out like I say with autism out on the street doesn't want him anymore so I've had to take him in my house and took his key off him my key and more less said fu to us all because we don't want to get to no her I'm literally feeling like I'm going mad!!! 

I had to watch my mum die of cancer my dad move on push this woman on me then throws my brother out there is literally no talking to him so he's turned his back on us and the grandchildren I'm so apalled by his behaviour and I don't no what to do someone please help  

  • Hello CH12365

    I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum just a few short months ago. Grief is a natural process but it can be devastating and when you add in the complications you've described with your Dad then I can only imagine just how difficult life has been these past few months. 

    It's understandable that you're feeling so upset by your Dad's behaviour towards you and your brother. People can behave in many ways after the loss of a partner. Whether your Dad's behaviour has been impacted by the death of your Mum is impossible for us to say but regardless of the reasons behind his actions, it's natural that you're feeling hurt. 

    I don't know if you're able to talk with your Dad clearly about how you're feeling. It sounds from your post as if he's perhaps not open to that conversation at the moment. If you want to try and repair things between the two of you then sometimes a letter can be a way to open communication whilst giving you both some time and space to process things. 

    You've not mentioned in your post if you've had the opportunity to talk with a bereavement support worker or counsellor about your Mum's passing and how you're coping with the loss. Many hospices have an in-house bereavement service that they offer to family so it may be worth getting in touch with them if you think this is something that may help you. Alternatively, you can contact a national charity such as Cruse who offer bereavement support. 

    This is obviously a difficult situation for you all and I do hope that you're able to find some support to help you move forward. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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