Hi everyone, 

My wife and I finally got married earlier this year and got our life together, however on a family trip to China she got diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer metastasis. Within 5 months (2 days ago she lost her fight) it’s only been a few days since she passed. I’m 29 and she was 28, she was my everything and everything I did everyday was because of her. I worked hard for her, was happy with her, could be myself around her and the main this is we grew so much together and I’m thankful for the person she has made me become. I’ve never met anyone or loved anyone the way I loved her our relationship was special and she was the most beautiful wife I could have ever dreamed of having. I find myself at night before bed looking at all our old videos and photo’s together which makes me feel better for a little while but then reality sets in and me knowing I will never see her again has broken me. The love happiness and joy I was known for now all feels gone as soon as she passed. I’m not suicidal or anything close but I’m finding it hard to accept I can actually be happy again. Everyone word of condolences I received literally means nothing to me…I feel empty and don’t want anyone else I only want her. I want to reach out to see if anyone is going through the same situation and just know what helps them or how you all feel. Another issue I am having is because she is Chinese she has been buried in China and I’m a UK citizen, I’m spending a lot more time in China as I don’t want to leave her family as it feels like I’m leaving her behind. I also won’t get to visit her grave if I go back to the UK which hurts me a lot. I’m so broken atm I literally have no joy in anything and have no desire to be anything or do anything.

any replies are welcome and appreciated.

thanks