Welcome to the forum, Millie05.

I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your husband. Losing a loved one after such a long and challenging battle with cancer must be incredibly difficult to cope with. 

It's understandable to struggle with the sense of unfairness surrounding his illness and treatment journey. Cancer can be unpredictable, and even when treatments seem to be working, unexpected complications can arise. It's okay to feel anger, sadness, and confusion about what happened.

Please remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time and allow yourself to grieve in your own way and at your own pace.

We have many people here who will understand how you're feeling and hope some of them will stop by soon with words of support. Last but not least please remember you're not alone, there's always someone here if you need a chat.

Best wishes,

Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello Millie05

I just wanted to say Im so very sorry for the loss of your much loved husband. Cancer is such a cruel disease.  I am so glad you were together for 40 years.

I lost my huband from Junctional Esophagus Cancer in Septermber 2016.  We were married for 36 years.   He was my rock, my world, my besy friend.  I miss him so much,  

I would not say as some people said to me it gets easier.  It doesnt but you find ways of coping.

I try to count my blessings that I had such a wonderful funny caring loving man in my life,  I always says he is never gone and I take him with me everyday in whatever I do or wherever I go.  Keeping his memory alive with my daugher and grandsons,  Our first grandson was just six months when he died.

It is such early days for you, so raw.  You have opened up on this forumm never say sorry, sadly so many people understand.  The forum has been a constant comfort to me over these years.  Sadly we are never alone,

Take care of yourself huge hugs and love to you x