My husband died two weeks ago. He had had an op for head and neck cancer in June followed by radiotherapy. He never picked up and just faded away. Hospice from  hospital were wonderful and we were able to have him home. He died peacefully quietly and with no pain, we were alone together as we wanted to be and it all happened in about half an hour. We held hands and I kept talking to him and telling him how much we all loved him.it was the death I had prayed hard for him and we both felt calm about his journey home. Why then do I  feel so guilty about the relief I feel, I haven’t cried , talk to him in the evenings and feel at peace, but this feels so wrong. We had been married 60 years ups and downs as everyone has but mainly love and laughter.