Sorry therapeutic support wasn’t helpful.  Was it the therapist or type of?  Hopefully you could try again if you feel strong enough xx

I am very sorry to hear that you lost your mum at such a young age, that is a hard *** deal you have been dealt with and it's not fair, it isn't. 

I think at your age, you have more than one thing to work out with your life, you are carrying this horrible burden but I know when I was your age, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life - broadly I did - I wanted to live in a place of sunshine and somewhere more interesting that my home town and in the end that happened but it took a good ten years after that - until then I was squeezing my round peg into very tight square holes and getting nowhere - now, my life is great and I am thriving but that wasn't the case back then, if my mum had gone at that age, that would have made things a whole lot worse.

How I see it now as an old man (oldish haha) is that your mum brought you into this world, nine months and change and she had dreams, aspirations and plans for you. She carried you wanting you to thrive and become someone she can be proud of which I am sure she is right now as you're reading this so, you're at that age where sometimes you're a bit lost on how to carry on forward and losing your mum at that compounds it like it would have done for me - losing mum is a big loss at 17 - I lost my mum coming up to two years, it's still painful but she got to nearly 80 and she lived her life, she did the things she wanted to do and though no-one wants to lose a parent or a spouse or anyone to cancer, I feel it is doubly hard when you lose someone you love dearly at the age you did.

Mum hasn't gone away, she lives within you, the way you look, your mannerisms, the values you have been taught, eye colour, hair colour, those things that can only be passed down from two people who loved each other and decided to have a baby - mum hasn't gone anywhere, she lives on through you! Now, you have to decide what you want to do with your life, what excites you, what journey you want to go on because that is what mum wants, she wants you to live you life - I don't know if your mum outlived your gran but if she did - she had to carry on living her life and looking after you and whoever else - part of life is loss, loss is hard but we have to live with loss as human beings because that is the way life is.

You will always have your mum with you but now, at the age of 22 - you have to decide your path, and your mum will be with you every step of the way - there is an exciting future out there and you have to find it and make it happen because that is what will make your mum proud - it's what you can become because this is why she brought you into life - because that is what she wanted - for you to find your journey, claim it and make her proud! Her daughter making a success of her life!

Good luck, I hope it helps!