My dad passed away 4 years ago in June coming up. 
he got diagnosed with cancer about 9 months before he passed, and it was brutal. 
Even after he passed, I couldn’t cope. It took me a long long time to get to where I am right now. Even though I was lucky enough to have the time to make memories that I’d spent with him and my family after his diagnosis, it didn’t feel like enough. 
it’s new years now about 3 years after we’ve lost him; I’m in a relationship with a guy I can see myself marrying and all I want is my dad. 
I remember asking him if he was afraid to die after we’d found out it was terminal. And he had told me he wasn’t afraid to die, he was just scared to leave me and my siblings. I’ve never told anyone about this conversation we had. But it broke my heart, even though all we’d been through growing up; all my dad cared about was me and my siblings, even when he was quite literally dying. 
I’d broken my leg prior to my fathers passing, and despite what he was going through with chemo and radiation he looked after me, no matter if it was 3am and all I wanted was a cup of tea; he was there for me. 
there is nobody I miss more than my dad. 
but for anyone out there that is losing their dad to this cruel disease, I promise it will get easier. My heart still breaks everyday but I know he will always be here with me. And the fact he was afraid more to leave us than death itself speaks volumes. 
there is nothing more than the memories you can make with your loved one suffering, you will cherish them forever. Make the most of the time you have left.  <3  love you forever daddy I miss you, happy new year <3