My husband had been diagnosed with rectum cancer spread to liver and eventually his lung in 2001 , he was a lovely kind hard working family man and for the first 2 years no one could even tell he was poorly, but as the chemos  stopped working he lost a lot of weight and then  he got worse very quickly, he sadly died at home 2 weeks ago and I miss him so so much,  I cry then I don’t cry or I can’t cry I feel like I’m freaking out , I want to run and scream , then I feel n mb , and so low in a dark dark place I’ve never experienced anything like this , I don’t see a purpose anymore , we spent every day together and now I’m alone . My rock and my best friend has been taken from us  at just 56 years old ! I just cannot believe he’s gone / nor do I want to . Life is so cruel  ️ ️. X