Hello Sheffdaug1172

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your Mum earlier this summer. It's undoubtedly will have been a difficult time for you. 

Grief is a natural process but it can be devastating and I think sometimes we underestimate the weight we carry when we lose a loved one. The practicalities that are needed to sort finances, legalities and paperwork; the support that we offer to others who are grieving the loss of a family member or friend; trying to process our own emotions and loss, all whilst trying to carry on with the daily activities that we still have to do. It can be a lot. And so it's not surprising that some way down the line from losing our loved one we feel exhausted by it all. 

Sometimes it can help to have some outside support to aid us with the load that we're carrying. Having someone who isn't a friend or family member to listen to all that we've been through and to acknowledge the weight of what we've been carrying can provide some relief. Having a safe space to explore your grief can help you move forward. I don't know if this is something that you've thought about, or indeed already accessed, but it may be something you might want to consider. Organisations such as  Cruse and Maggie's are able to offer this kind of support or it may be that your employer has a confidential EAP counselling service that you can access. 

Do talk with your line manager at work. It's good to hear that you've initially been able to return on a phased basis but communication is key and if you're struggling then chat things through with them so that they can continue to support you. 

It's still very early days in your journey with grief. Be kind to yourself and take the time to make sure that your needs are being met. Don't be afraid to set boundaries or to lean on friends and family for help and support. Try to take things a day at a time and not rush too far ahead. 

Know that the forum is here to support you Sheffdaug1172 if you need a listening ear. 

Sending my best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator