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Going to lose my dad

Loulou81
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Hello,

I can't deal with the fact my dad isn't going to be around. He is 71 and in February he got diagnosed with ocular melanoma. He had his eye removed and we were hoping it hadn't spread. Found out in April it had spread to his liver and the only treatment was a new trial drug. Waited nearly 3 months for the treatment to start by which time it was to late. 

My dad got rushed in to hospital last week and was told they couldn't continue with the treatment as there was no liver left it was all cancerous. He has been given weeks to live and I can't cope. I'm crying all the time and just can't deal that he won't be hear anymore. Everything has happened so fast. Last year my dad was fit and healthy. My dad is my world and we talk everyday. He is so scared about what Is going to happen and isn't sleeping. I don't know what I can do or say to help him. He is trying to be strong for me and my brothers but I know he is as broken as us

Thank you for reading 

Louise

  • Hello Louise

    I'm so very sorry to hear about your Dad. It's obviously an incredibly difficult time for you all as a family and understandable that you will be experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions right now. 

    When a loved one approaches the end of their life, the thoughts and feelings that we can experience can be overwhelming at times and it's natural that you're feeling tearful. Do you have someone that you can talk to? A friend or family member who can lend a shoulder for you to lean on over the coming weeks. Having a safe space in which you can talk about how you're feeling can be invaluable in giving you some mental and emotional space to be able to get through each day. 

    It may be that you feel more comfortable talking to someone outside your immediate group of friends or family and if that's the case then you're welcome to talk with our team of nurses for some support. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. It may be that there is somewhere locally such as Maggie's that you can visit for support. If you're unsure about local services then do get in touch with your GP surgery who should be able to signpost you. 

    It can help to write down how you're feeling and if you find it useful to do this then you're welcome to keep posting here on the forum as a place to chat with others, ask questions, offload or simply vent. We're here to listen, help and support. 

    My thoughts are with you all at this difficult time. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator

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    Hi im so sorry to hear what you are going through. My dad passed away yesterday after losing his battle with lung cancer. There are just a couple of things that I'm trying to help me get through this and I thought I would share them with you. My dad was in discomfort at the end and the last few days were very distressing despite him receiving fantastic care,he was struggling and so i say to myself no more pain he's free of that,he's no longer scared or distressed he's just sleeping peacefully. Also I think what would my dad want me to do and he would be saying please be strong,he would be saying make sure I eat and look after myself, so I will be trying to do this for him. Like you I spoke to my dad every day he truly was my hero. It will hurt when something funny happens in my day as I used to think wait until I tell my dad about this tonight and then I realise I can't.  I'm sending you big hugs please try to be strong for your dad and please look after yourself your dad will want the best for you as they always do xx

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