I lost my wonderful Mum in November 2022 to bowel cancer that metastised to her liver, lungs and finally her brain. She was 79.
Mum and I were very close, especially in the last 20 years as we lived close by to each other and eventually in the same house. She was my sounding board, and confidente and we spent time together almost every day.
In many ways Mum's passing was relatively easy compared to the other stories I've read. She and Dad lived with us and,I work from home for an incredibly supportive company who allowed me all the time off I needed to attend appointments with Mum. When she was finally told that she was terminal, she chose to pass at home and I had the privilege to be able to nurse her and,be with her until the very end
She wasn't a hard or demanding patient and coped with her failing body with humour and great stoicism. We were very lucky that her brain tumours didn't really affect her to the very last and she remained " my Mum".
I had " pre-grieved a great deal before she passed away and had plenty of time to say Goodbye. And naturally I grieved when she actually died. I thought that her funeral would bring some closure but 6 months on I still feel utterly bereft.
Dad still lives with us and we support one another. My husband didn't like my Mother so has not been supportive but my wonderful daughter and close friends and workmates have been amazing. Yet I can't seem to move forward.
I'm back at work eyc but nothing brings me any joy and occasions like Easter, birthdays etc just seem to underline what we have lost. I try hard to do the same things we've always done but have no energy for them and feel no joy.
I know everyone's grief journey is different and I feel ashamed when I read the bravery of young people who have lost a parent or parents who have lost a child. I had my Mum for 54 years, she had a happy and fulfilled life and I know we all have to pass some day.
But I don't seem to be able to move on
Does anyone have any tips ...beyond counselling which I can't afford, to help me cope better? I feel like I am letting everyone down.
