Hi Fearghas,

I am so sorry to hear that your mum has finally lost her battle against cancer. I can only imagine how devastating this must be for you, to lose her when you are still so young. You will probably feel numb, upset and angry in times to come. There are several different stages to the grieving process. I lost my own mum to secondary breast cancer 26 years ago and I have had 2 bouts of primary breast cancer in the past 13 years. Although I felt heartbroken when I lost my mum, I was also relieved that she was no longer suffering and in pain.

Since I lost her, I have tried to live my life as she would have wanted me to live it and to make her proud of what I have achieved. I am sure that your mum would want the same for you. One thing that I found very helpful was to have a nice photograph of her, in a prominent place, where I could still talk to her and cry if I felt like it. This may sound daft, but it has truly helped me and that photo still has pride of place today.

You will never forget your mum. You will always carry her in your heart. With time people say that it gets easier. I'm not sure whether this is the case, or if we just come to accept things after a time.

Do you have other family or friends who you can talk to about how you feel? If not, you might find it hepful to speak to a counsellor. There are many cancer charities which offer these services, free of charge. Your school should also be able to arrange for you to see someone. Try to keep talking about your mum, remembering happier times.

There is a forum for teenagers whoose parents have cancer, which you might also find helpful. It is called Riprap.org.uk. 

Please remember that we are always here for you, any time you want to chat. In the meantime, I am sending my sincere sympathy and love.

Kindest regards,

Jolamine xx

We know yesterday must have been incredibly difficult for you Fearghas but we hope coming along to the forum last night helped and you were able to get some comfort and not feel so alone.

As Mod Jenn said, you will no doubt be contending with a rollercoaster of emotions right now, so we just wanted to stop by this morning to provide you with some useful links to resources that we think might help.

The first is a charity called Winston's Wish, who offer grief support to anyone under the age of 25. The second is a charity called Hope Again. It is the youth website of Cruse Bereavement Support and is a safe place for any young person to get information, support and advice when dealing with the loss of a loved one.

We're all thinking of you Fearghas and hope this can help you find a way to cope with your grief at this very challenging and heartbreaking time.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator