I'm so sorry to read this, today is especially tough. I also lost my mum to pancreatic cancer just last week, she was 54, I'm 29. It's all happened so fast, this time 3 weeks ago we didn't even know she had cancer, pancreatic cancer is the devil. We lost my grandad/mums dad to the same thing 7 years ago, I never thought it would strike twice.

Last week I was so numb and felt robbed, but seeing posts like this makes me realise I was lucky to have spent 29 years with my mum and my heart breaks for you that you went through this at 11 years old, I can't even begin to imagine how hard that has been, especially during what are the most challenging years of your life.

It seems so unfair but life does go on and I'm sure your mum would want yours to go on. I've realised this last few days that I can sit and be sad about losing my best friend/mum or I can make everyday count as she's made me realise life really can be ripped from us when you least expect it. That said, it's still an important part of the process to feel sadness, but I've tried to counteract it by talking about good times with her or going and doing something I enjoy, even if it's just going and grabbing a coffee in town with family. 

Have you thought about doing fund raising in memory of your mum? I think this is what I will be doing so that I feel like she is always with me and her death wasn't completely pointless! It's also a bit of a distraction from the grief.

Anyway, I hope you manage to one day smile and laugh when you remember your mum rather than just feel the pain and loss. Please make sure to speak with people about your feelings, even it's through these forums, someone will always answer and the people answering will usually be able to relate more than friends can, as until you've experienced this kind of loss, you can't understand it. 

I feel like I've rambled on a bit here but I hope my words have been of some comfort or help at least.
 

I wish you the best and please take care.

Dan 

I really do not know what to say to make you feel better. This is heartbreaking and I am so sorry that you experienced such a big loss at such a sensitive and young age. I lost my mother 15 months ago when I was 38 and I thought it was too soon to lose her but your experience is definitely not comparable. It'll take time, a long time probably to accept this because what else can we do other than accepting things as they come? You are still very young and I wish from the bottom of my heart for you to have a life full of joy and love!