So sorry for the loss of your husband. I can empathise with your situation. I lost my Mum and Dad last year within 6 months of each other, both to cancer and covid. My Mum was diagnosed with Lung Cancer stage 4 in February and passed away in May. The attitute of her oncologist still troubles me to this day. I can still remember how we felt in the smallest of rooms with 6 of us crammed in together to be told the most important person in my world had the stage 4 lung cancer (she was a non-smoker) and there was no cure. I get the most horrific flashbacks, some days now I feel I honestly can't cope. Where is the respect to tell someone the worse news in the most small depressing room, like it doesnt matter? We have to somehow support the person we love with cancer even though we are scared every moment of the thoughts of losing them, we barely had any support thereafter, I had to push for everything. I really understand your pain and the memories. I just hope you are getting kindness now and support. I have counselling from Cruse Bereavement. I'm not taking any medication. Apart from this I am just struggling daily to live without my Mum. I wish I could offer words of comfort but right now I am at the stage where I am just taking it hour by hour, day by day. I think the fact we were there with them, they were not alone, absolutely counts for something. They had our neverending love and support. 

J