My grandad died in June 2022 from cancer. He was so healthy. His heart was healthy, his lungs, kidney and everything else. He was speaking to until his last hour, laughing, joking and smiling. Cancer took my only trustworthy person. I trusted him more than anyone. I just want to talk to someone, online or not, but not my parents, I feel embarrassed to say that to them. I want to let out my emotions. My grandad was the funniest, most caring, trustworthy and strongest fighter ever! He fought till his last breath. His wife died in January the same year, and he attended the funeral, he was going through chemo and seemed healthy. He came to live at my house because he hadn't seen us in a while, so he came to live at my house for a week, and he was perfectly fine. Healthy etc. My dad dropped him home on the Sunday, and that night her rang with severe stomach pains and vomiting (he had got cancer but he wasn't suffering symptoms etc - his cancer started at the same time as my Nans in 2021) so his brother (my mums uncle) went round to take him to hospital because of waiting times. Nobody was allowed into the hospital too see him. He was there for a few weeks with 0 people to speak too, apart from the phone in which he didn't really know how to use. Then we moved him into a nursing home (the most amazing careers there ever). He was in there for a few months. He was struggling to eat because he felt sick, so the careers gave him ice lollies for example. He was moved at least 7 times a day to stop any sort of rashes. We live around 100 miles from the care home so the careers spoke to him many many times per day, he stopped feeling lonely. He lived in Coventry and we don't, They were amazing in the nursing home. He went down hill fast but was still talking and joking, all they way till his last hour! I feel sad I wasn't there for when he passed, but happy my mum and auntie were holding his hand. I just want to speak to people and get my emotions out, I people to recognise I'm still grieving. My friends don't know about my grandad but I want him back. I want to kiss him, Hugg him, take him to the golf park (in the same ground as the nursing home), I want to take him to the shops or water the plants in the back garden. I want to dance with him, bake cakes or exchange jokes. I want my grandad back. I want to get rid of cancer, and take away the grief for my own grandchildren!
