I am so so sorry to hear about your mam and what you're going through right now. There's no words to make someone feel better at that time.

But know you're not alone. I lost my mom October 2021 she was only in her early 40's. I am only 24.

min not going to say it gets easier because it's completely different for every single person. But for my experience I roared and cried on her funeral then went absolutely normal with my life for few weeks and guilt was eating my away that I lived my life normally. But come few weeks after that's when it started to hit me, when birthdays came, Christmas, Easter, when I made a dinner that she'd always make when my son started school started talking got potty trained their the kind of times I just bursted into tears or sometimes I'd be sitting down and just burst into tears out of no where thinking how unfair that is and I just think to myself "I actually don't have a mom anymore" and it just breaks me but then other times when I find myself doing things the way she would have I find myself smiling because a part of her will always and forever live in me.

and the same goes with you, your mam is always and forever with you she lives within you. And she wants you to be happy.

It's not that it'll ever get easier but you'll learn to live with it and you'll cherish all the moments spent with her and what I find helpful is talking about her a lot. Keeping her memory alive. My son is only 3 he was so little when she passed but when he sees photos of her he says "that's my nana" because I don't let him forget about her. For me and for him and for her. From when he was little I have thought him that his nana is up in the sky and now whenever he sees a plane flying and whoever he's with he just goes "that's where my nana is up high with the planes" and it's beautiful to just keep her memory alive.

sorry for going on such a long rant but just know you're not alone and if you ever need to talk I'm here cause it can me hard. And sometimes talking to someone who hasn't had such a loss is just not the same as toaking to someone who did.

Here if you need a chat.

take care of yourself.

vicky xx

I am so so sorry to hear about your mam and what you're going through right now. There's no words to make someone feel better at that time.

But know you're not alone. I lost my mom October 2021 she was only in her early 40's. I am only 24.

min not going to say it gets easier because it's completely different for every single person. But for my experience I roared and cried on her funeral then went absolutely normal with my life for few weeks and guilt was eating my away that I lived my life normally. But come few weeks after that's when it started to hit me, when birthdays came, Christmas, Easter, when I made a dinner that she'd always make when my son started school started talking got potty trained their the kind of times I just bursted into tears or sometimes I'd be sitting down and just burst into tears out of no where thinking how unfair that is and I just think to myself "I actually don't have a mom anymore" and it just breaks me but then other times when I find myself doing things the way she would have I find myself smiling because a part of her will always and forever live in me.

and the same goes with you, your mam is always and forever with you she lives within you. And she wants you to be happy.

It's not that it'll ever get easier but you'll learn to live with it and you'll cherish all the moments spent with her and what I find helpful is talking about her a lot. Keeping her memory alive. My son is only 3 he was so little when she passed but when he sees photos of her he says "that's my nana" because I don't let him forget about her. For me and for him and for her. From when he was little I have thought him that his nana is up in the sky and now whenever he sees a plane flying and whoever he's with he just goes "that's where my nana is up high with the planes" and it's beautiful to just keep her memory alive.

sorry for going on such a long rant but just know you're not alone and if you ever need to talk I'm here cause it can me hard. And sometimes talking to someone who hasn't had such a loss is just not the same as toaking to someone who did.

Here if you need a chat.

take care of yourself.

vicky xx