Thank you for your reply. Yes today's just been a bad one. And always annoys me when the sadness and pain appears . Just want it to go . It's like waves of emotion coming over you. Seems a long way off funeral too. 

Its strange how grief effects people differently. I wish it effected me lightly . Instead of this . Suppose depends on the relationship you had with the one you lost. 

I know 

what cancer did you dad have ?

The comfort you can take from your dads passing as hard as it is , he is pain free and he is looking over you that is definite 

I still speak to my parents 

it's horrible 

but it's every minute 

then hour

then day 

month 

year 

at a time 

I know that is Miles  away for you just now but you will feel you can cope a little better as time goes by 

I'm here if you need to chat 

I still struggle 

wish I could just call and talk to them

Thank you . 

We are in same place 

it's horrible 

I lost my 2 parents to cancer and I've just had my prostate removed 

prostate cancer 

and I wish I could just go talk to them 

it's horrible