So sorry to read your post regarding your Dad passing away. I lost both my parents within 6 months of each other last year and I am only now dealing with the grief and reality of my first parent leaving me, I was completely in denial and numb to start.
Its such early days for you, please don't be trying to fight this because you need to allow yourself to only cope day by day, it really is too overwhelming to cope with the bigger picture right now.
Even now 9 months on from my Mum (whom I lived with and who was my absolute best friend) and 2 months from my Dad I am still completely devastated.
I do think counselling helps and Cruse will give free one-to-one counselling which has helped me so much but there is a waiting list so it may help to complete the form as it can takes a few months, in the meanwhile you can contact one of their Bereavement Counsellors for free any day or evening on their number mentioned on their website whilst your waiting and during your one-to-one counselling.
Please remember there are many of us here that understand what your going through right now and you can reach out anytime. You just need to take one day at a time and only cope with what you can physically and mentally deal with. Take good care of yourself.
Thank you for your kind reply Chrissy. It means alot . Helps to know others understand how I feel. I can't imagine losing both parents so close together as you have. How do you stay so strong and get through it. It feels like I'm it's changed my whole life and outlookx
Yes it certainly has helped me to know others have walked this brutally devastating journey in life.
I don't feel strong at all but I guess in some ways I must be as 2 months after Mum passed away Dad became ill, went into hospital and passed away end of November. In all that time we visited him daily and at the end he passed away in the same covid ward as Mum, the very fact I didn't crumble to pieces with grief surprises me to this day.
Your absolutely right about grief having changed you and your outlook. I feel the past 12 months and everything I have witnessed and the very fact of being without Mum in particular has totally changed me, there was a 'me' before and a 'me' now and we will never be the same person again. How can we be? I also think losing a loved one brings immense wisdom eventually because we have to alter our thinking, feelings and everything just to continue with life after they have gone. It takes everything we knew away from us and leaves us picking up the pieces but our life will never be as it was before.
The only way I coped and still cope is getting through today. When I feel like crying and talking out loud to them I do, when it gets too much I talk to myself and find something quickly to distract me, anything; cleaning, going for a walk, making a cup of tea. Its such early days for you and even myself. I hate living without Mum but I also think of what she would say to me. It may help to think what your Dad would say to you too. Know he would want you to be kind to yourself right now, not give yourself any extra stresses. I do believe life is a blessing and I know I have to find courage to keep going for Mum, Dad and myself. I also hope in the future along with my grief for my parents I will find moments of happiness, moments of joy and I can somehow include them in my life even though they are not physically with me. They loved us, you are your Dad's child and you always will be, he will always be your Dad and the love and memories can never be removed. x
