I lost my dad last February to prostate cancer. The morning of thr day he died my my step mam rang me at 7 saying she needed me to go down I normally went down about 10ish if I was sleeping over. He was panicking he and saying he wanted the pain blocker out. The nurses arrived and tried to talk him out of it but it's what he wanted I told them you either do it or I will. They took it out. Hes breathing was fast but he wanted a tab so I gave him one. Step mam was radging haha. They gave him Midazolam to calm him. I sat all day holding his hand and talking to him. He breating went funny and he was going I held him and told him I loved him I watched as he tried to talk and then he was gone hes eyes went crusty and he was gone at 9.21 on thr 28th of Feb. I struggle being awake because he makes he real but I can't sleep because I have night mares watching him over and over again and I can't move. He was my bestfriend my safe place and am lost with out him. How do people cope.. I have googled about his eyes but I can't find any thing why did they do this?
