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When you want someone to hold you

victoria2424
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When you want that person to hold you and tell you everything is going to be ok .  3 years on since I have lost my husband and feel I'm sinking finding it hard to keep my head above the water .  My youngest has now gone on her travels and the reality has set in that she has now gone  for 3 months and just want someone to hold me and say she will be ok . Really miss my husband by my side on these times of need .

  • I'm so sorry Victoria.

    I know none of us can replace your husband but I hope you can take some strength, and comfort, from knowing that we are here for you and sending all our support your way.

    I'm sure some of our members who have gone through a similar experience will be along soon but in the meantime, if you do feel like you've reached a stage where things are becoming a bit too much, don't hesitate to reach out for further support, be that from your GP or through bereavement counselling and/or support groups.

    We're thinking of you Victoria and wishing you all the best at this very difficult time.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline

    Hello Victoria 2424, this month is the first anniversary of my husband's death and its so hard when the person who was always there to hold you and say, don't worry all will be fine, no longer exists.  Until you've experienced it no one understands the loss.  I've just spent all of Christmas and new year with family but felt more alone than when I'm alone.  How do you explain that feeling, to family, to friends, they see you smile and engage in conversation when all you can think is I'm really on my own, sometimes it's easier to be alone as I don't have to put a brave face on!  I really feel for you as both my daughters left home within a week of each other, I had Norman but there was still a big black hole, so it must be even worse for you.  But do you know what, three months will pass, just as three years has passed and you will be there when she gets back because that's what Mum's do.  I fill my time as best I can and do voluntary work, ballet classes and see friends.  Someone always needs help and being useful to others makes us feel better. You've made it this far, keep going and it will get a little easier, you've got all those stories to hear when she has travelled and you are her rock as our husband's were ours.  Take care, a big hug your way. Carol x 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Steph

    Hi Steph

    Thsnk you for your kind words.  I did have therapy just before lock down but only for a couple.  I have reached out to GP and have filled out a form for therapy and got a reply for a phone call in April! So bad as would like reach out to someone now not April . X

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    Thank you Carol for your reply sorry I don't go on here much now .  I do hope you are doing ok too . It's a tough one but you have to look after yourself for your children. I've got my eldest that is transgender so it's another tough one to go through but she has so much support and is turning out to be a beautiful young lady and I know my husband would have been so supportive too. The time is dragging a bit with my other daughter away but message her everyday and we video call on WhatsApp which is amazing you take care keeping busy too . Victoria x

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