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Struggling to get my life back on track

Frankie65
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Hi my mum died end of June and from being diagnosed and dying was just 6 months. I appreciate its still early days in grief process but I've lost all interest in my family, my sons were my world and now I find myself backing out of get together at last minute as can't face them. Then spend days wrecked with guilt about pushing them away. Any advice how I can move forward? 

  • Hello Frankie65

    I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your much loved Mum earlier this year. You're right, it is still early days in your journey with grief and often things can intensify around certain times such as Christmas. It's understandable that you're feeling stuck at the moment. 

    I'm glad that you've recognised that things are difficult and that you've reached out for help and support. This is undoubtedly a big step in starting to find the right way for you to move forwards. 

    Many of our members have found themselves in similar situations and hopefully some of them will reply to share their advice and support with you. I know that we've also had lots of people who have found bereavement counselling to be a big help after the loss of a loved one. I'd really encourage you to have a look at the website for a charity called Cruse. They're able to offer bereavement support and hopefully having that safe, supportive space in which you can explore all that you're dealing with will help. 

    From what you've said in your post I'd also suggest talking with your GP. It may be that the grief you've been carrying these past few months has resulted in depression and if that is the case then your Dr will be the best person to help support you with this. 

    Grief can be an overwhelming experience and it affects every part of our lives, including our mental and physical health but you don't have to carry the load alone Frankie. Lean on those around you, reach out to professional services for support, and importantly be kind to yourself. 

    Sending my best wishes at this difficult time, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Hi Frankie, I am so sorry you are having to go through this excruciating experience. I lost my dear Mum in April of this year after only being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer three weeks previously. It has been the single most awful thing I s ever had to go through. Only 8 weeks later my precious Dad died of a severe chest infection. It's very difficult to put into words how horrific you feel at times. I've always been a very self aware person who practices lots of self care to maintain a healthy body and mind. This last 8 months of my life have been the most testing agonising of my life. All my previous coping strategies for life events and the ups and downs of life have been blown out the park so to speak. I feel like a lost child sometimes, scared and worried if this pain will ever get easier. Like yourself I have two sons both mid twenties and a husband and great family and friends, without them I don't know where I'd be. I'm starting some counselling in January and hoping this will help. I would encourage you to try something similar. It's so cliche, but it really is a day at a time. Christmas has been excruciating and at times physically takes my breath away. Sending you all my love. We will get through this, but it's going to take a very long time xx

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