Hello Ashley, August is not long ago and my husband died January this year, lung cancer, five years of treatment and married 52 years, so a very similar story, Norman said to live the life I had left as best as I could because he felt he had put me through so much during his treatment.  But you really need to grieve first, look at all we've had with our partners, adult children, grandchildren, you cannot put that all away in a few months.  I've started volunteering again, meeting friends, joined a class, ballet, so not suitable for YOU!  Just take it a day at a time, it will become a little easier but then it will come over you in waves again, today the song How can I tell you I love you by Cat Stevens set me off again.  Don't be hard on yourself, it's so soon since she died, take care. Carol 

many thanks Carol.I heard that cat stevens song also and it stopped me in my tracks.Our case histories are so much alike,except for the fact that we have no grandchildren..Our daughter only married last year due to covid delays,so my wife would burst into tears when she thought about not being here when and if it happened.I have come out of retirement to work 12 hours a week,back with friends who need a helping hand.Will also look for volunteer work after xmas.What makes you think i would not be suitable for ballet,after all i am a pas de deux..thanking you for your lovely reply,i wish you all the best for the future.Ashley

Hi Ashley,

I have lost a mother through lung cancer last April, it is going to take time and tears and it is a journey in itself - no two ways about it, but today is a lot easier than it was back in April. I can go around and live my life without breaking down or taking it out on other people.

I feel that my mum is still with me, it doesn't feel she has left though of course, I won't be able to communicate with her as I once did, I still talk to her and feel she is with me. I also now understand she is at peace and is cancer free and that I won't be all that long for this earth and one day it will be my turn to leave this mortal coil - nothing is forever - even us - one day we will not be here.

I don't know if any of the above helps but I hope it does, take care and every day is a new day.

Dear Ashley, that sounds like a plan and well done for going back to work.  It is so lonely all day without your loved one and life does need a purpose, we need to feel that we are here for a reason

  Sorry about the faux pas, I'm sure you'd look well in your ballet get up! 

Carol