Before I get to now, a brief history of an amazing woman. In October 2008 she got her 1st breast cancer, 3 ops, mastectomy, chemo and radio therapy, she came through it. 2012... other breast cancer, mastectomy and chemo tablets. 2016, 1st lung cancer, radiotherapy, 2017 broken femur and hip following a fall, 2019 COPD diagnosis, June 17th 2020 terminal lung cancer diagnosis. 6th October 2020 months left at most, stage 4 metastatic. November 2020 a stroke!! 10th July 2022, severe water infecton (a symptom of a bigger issue) admitted to hospital never to return home, 11th 2022 she lost her fight. me and my sisters and dad were there as much as possible as we could towards the end. Mum said during one of her lucid days she didn't want us to be there at the end. However, after weeks of collective support, mum was too poorly for a hospice and was in a hospital side room, we decided to take 'shifts'. My big sister was there early, little sister lunchtime and as I arrived to take over ....my little sister said watch her breathing....I grabbed her hand, said I was there and loved her and kissed her forehead, it happened so quickly and 15 minutes later she was gone .I cant stop replaying that memory. Everyone says its nice I was there with mum and my sister, I'm struggling, cant sleep as I replay the 'video' of the last 15 mins over and over. Anyone else had this bottomless pit feeling while trying to work, be a good wife and daughter to dad and sibling and pretend you're ok?
