Im 18 and have just lost my mum today. She was only diagnosed with cancer 3 months ago and the cancer could not have been any more aggressive. I sat beside her with the family as she took her last breaths. Watching her pass away, the life draining from her, her skin going colourless was horrible.

I suppose this is more of a rant. Ive usually been emotionally strong, but without her im simply not complete. I was what you call a 'mummys boy' and yet whenever she'd call me that id tell her to knock it off. 

I want her back, but shes gone. I'll never hear her voice, feel her touch.. She'll never see me again, or hear how my day is going. She'll never hear about any achievements I'll make, and never attend my wedding. Its unfair.

As she was in her last minutes I told her it was okay, I held her hand, didnt cry either. But I forgot to say I love you. How did I forget? Now she'll never hear those words again. Honestly, it should have been me. My mum has been through enough and did not deserve to die so early. She was only 49.. couldnt make the big 50. She wanted to go to Vietnam for her 50th too.

Should have been me. She shouldnt of suffered. Im sorry mum that it happened to you, I know it wasnt fair.