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Dealing with losing my incredible mam

MyWonderfulMum
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I'm really struggling to come to terms with my mams diagnosis. 3 weeks ago my mam was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, it was such a shock and I am absolutely devastated, she's only 53 and has always been so fit and healthy. I've tried to remain positive but it feels like the blows just keep coming, she's my best friend and I can't imagine life without her, I never thought I'd lose her at such a young age. 

I keep it together in front of her but sometimes on a night I just crumble, I don't find talking to other family and friends helps at all but not sure what else to do? is this just something I have to work through and it'll eventually get easier to cope with? I feel like I'm grieving for her while she's still here.

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    Hi im so sorry to hear about ur mum I lost mine last May to the same thing and it was heart breaking to watch but you just never want to leave them be honest with u when we got told she told me please don't run lol til then didn't realise I ran away from my problems lol so I ran done the usual freaked out kidded on it wasn't happening and got out my face but that didn't last long cos its never something u can put out ur head she's ur person u will be lost but u need to think do u think she wants u to crumble does she f@@k!! She needs u I grieved my mum before she died that at the end wasn't my poor mum and tbh it's made me stronger when she went I've stepped up I know she's with me all the time I actually feeling her checking me   it's mad u need to stop thinking about urself to be blunt u need to be as positive as u can she needs to feel as OK as she can about leaving u I nursed my mum til the last breath u don't want her having a worry spend every moment u can with her take in the smiles and giggles ur sharing the memories don't focus on her going I hope u really do well I'm so sorry I have to even go threw this I know how I felt at first wot was gona happen with me wot would I do without her and its selfish tbh she's the one dying so make everything so much better for her as u can with wot time u have xxxx

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    So Sorry to hear about your mam, My mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour stage 4 in July this year. Sadly she died this week at home and i'm a mess. She was my best friend in the whole world, she was 59 years old and was fit and healthly too.

    Any advice I suggest is share things with her, talk about memories, hold her hand and just be there. I cared for my mum at home with help from hospice to ensure her wishes were met of dying at home.

    Speak to Dr's and ensure she has a pallitive care nurse you can talk to , they helped us with eqippment such as a hospital bed and comfy mattress, they helped with pain relief and care needs. 

    Its okay to fall apart and I'm Prob not the best to give you advice as i've just lost my mum. Dont think about whats going to happen, spend all the time you can with her. Try and see if you can see a Dr they can help you with Medication and sleeping tablets to help your mind get rest.

    I was like you, I fell apart in secret straight from her diagnosis.I was strong in front of her until I could no longer look at her without thinking about loosing her.  Take each day as it comes and treasure every second.

     

     

     

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