My dad passed away 4 months ago from a brain tumor, seeing him go from a healthy man who worked 6 days a week and spent all his life making sure I and my sisters had the best life, to being bedbound and couldn't move was absolutely traumatic. His first symptoms were bad headaches and sleeping all the time, and then he started to get confused, the doctors firstly blamed that on a mental breakdown but after multiple scans, it finally came back as a cancerous brain tumor.
Dad continued to work, even though he was having chemo and radiation at the time, and he tried to live normally which he did until about a week before he passed away, it was so quick and he went downhill within about 4 days. The treatment didn't work, and he got discharged from the hospital so he could be surrounded by everyone who absolutely adored him. Seeing my dad who when he got discharged couldn't see out of one eye as the tumor was putting pressure on it, is something I will never get over. He stopped eating and we knew it wasn't good, in the last day or so his breathing changed and he was rattling and gasping for air.
How do I get over seeing my dad pass away? The flashbacks are getting more regular and I don't want to remember my dad like that, he was so brave and he sorted everything out before he died, he left my mum with a folder of everything she needed to know, was he scared? or was he just thinking about us? The 8 months he was living with the tumor were like a blur, I don't know how we did it. He won't get to meet his grandchildren or walk us down the aisle and he's been robbed of that by cancer.
He didn't really speak to us about it, but I just hope he wasn't scared, he wanted to live so much, and he had so much stuff to look forward to. I wish I had told him more than I did, but I was so scared and it didn't feel real at the time.
Anyone who is going through the same, I'm so sorry for your loss because quite frankly it has ruined my life.
